Before diving into the concepts of glimmers and glows, take a moment to reflect:
When was the last time you felt truly safe, calm, or connected? What sparked that feeling?
What are the small moments in your day that bring you comfort or joy, even if fleeting?
How do you currently respond to stress or sensory overload? Are there moments when you wish you could find a way to soften or reset?
In a world that often demands speed, conformity, and constant vigilance, it’s no surprise that many of us—especially neurodivergent individuals—find ourselves in cycles of stress and overwhelm. For those navigating ADHD, autism, or other forms of neurodivergence, sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, and social challenges can often leave the nervous system stuck in survival modes of fight, flight, or freeze.
Yet, amidst the chaos, there are small sparks of hope: fleeting moments of joy, connection, or safety. These are what polyvagal expert Deb Dana calls “glimmers”—tiny but powerful experiences that remind us that it’s possible to feel calm, connected, and safe in our own bodies. When nurtured, these glimmers grow into “glows,” sustained moments of well-being that build resilience over time.
For neurodivergents, cultivating glimmers and glows offers an accessible, compassionate approach to nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. Let’s explore how these concepts work, why they matter, and how you can integrate them into your daily life.
The Science of Glimmers and the Neurodivergent Brain
At the heart of glimmers and glows is the autonomic nervous system (ANS), the part of our body that governs our stress responses. For many neurodivergent individuals, the ANS may be more sensitive or reactive to environmental or emotional stimuli. Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how our nervous system cycles through three primary states:
Fight or Flight (Sympathetic Activation): The body prepares for danger—heart rate increases, muscles tighten, and the mind races.
Freeze or Shutdown (Dorsal Vagal Activation): The body conserves energy by disconnecting or numbing out, often in response to overwhelming stress.
Social Engagement (Ventral Vagal Activation): The nervous system is calm, allowing for connection, curiosity, and relaxation.
For neurodivergents, sensory sensitivities, executive functioning challenges, or social interactions can keep the nervous system stuck in sympathetic or dorsal vagal states. Glimmers—those small, positive sensory or emotional cues—help activate the ventral vagal system, signaling to the body and brain: You are safe. It’s okay to relax.
Why Glimmers and Glows Matter for Resilience
Resilience is not about avoiding stress but about recovering from it. Glimmers provide a gentle, manageable way to practice resilience by shifting attention away from what’s overwhelming toward what’s nourishing. Over time, these micro-moments help rewire the brain for safety and connection, counteracting the hypervigilance or shutdown that neurodivergent individuals may experience.
Research supports this:
Studies on neuroplasticity show that small, repeated experiences of safety can reshape the brain, making it easier to access calm states over time.
Practices like mindfulness and savoring positive experiences have been shown to increase vagal tone, a measure of how well the nervous system can regulate stress.
In neurodivergents, intentional focus on sensory glimmers—like the texture of a soft blanket or the sound of rain—can help reduce overstimulation and support emotional regulation.
How to Find and Cultivate Glimmers
1. Start Small: Notice the Subtle: For neurodivergents, glimmers might not look like what society expects. They can be as simple as:
The sound of your favorite song.
A moment of sensory comfort, like holding a warm mug of tea.
A reassuring text from a trusted friend.
Practice: At the end of the day, reflect on one small moment that made you feel even slightly lighter or calmer. Write it down or replay it in your mind to amplify its impact.
2. Create a Glimmer Toolkit: Neurodivergents often benefit from having predictable, go-to resources for self-regulation. Build a "glimmer toolkit" with sensory or emotional anchors that work for you, such as:
Noise-canceling headphones or a weighted blanket.
A playlist of soothing or uplifting songs.
A list of places or activities that feel grounding (e.g., a park, a favorite coffee shop, or a quiet corner at home).
3. Use Glimmers to Navigate Overwhelm: When stress or sensory overload begins to creep in, pause and ask: Where is a glimmer right now? This might mean stepping outside for fresh air, noticing the warmth of sunlight, or focusing on your breath.
Practice: Place your hand on your chest and take three slow breaths. As you exhale, silently ask yourself, “What is okay in this moment?”
4. Turn Glimmers into Glows: While glimmers are fleeting, glows are built by intentionally savoring these moments. Neurodivergents often need time to process experiences, so allowing yourself to linger with a positive sensation can deepen its effects.
Practice: When you experience a glimmer, pause and notice how it feels in your body. Let yourself stay with that sensation for 10-20 seconds, allowing it to expand and settle.
Co-Regulation and Shared Glimmers
For neurodivergents, co-regulation—the process of finding safety and connection through others—can be a powerful way to amplify glimmers. Trusted relationships act as a mirror, reflecting safety back to the nervous system.
How to Share Glimmers:
Invite a friend or family member to notice glimmers with you (e.g., “Did you hear that beautiful bird outside?”).
Engage in sensory-rich, calming activities together, like baking, painting, or watching the stars.
Use tools like visual schedules or shared routines to create predictability and reduce anxiety, fostering an environment where glimmers can thrive.
Remember:
What Are Glimmers and Glows?
Glimmers are subtle, fleeting experiences that activate the ventral vagal system, signaling safety and connection. They might include noticing the warmth of sunlight, hearing a bird chirp, feeling a gentle breeze, or receiving a kind smile.
Glows are more sustained feelings of well-being or connection, often built by nurturing glimmers over time, such as savoring a warm conversation, a creative activity, or a shared moment with a loved one.
Both glimmers and glows serve as antidotes to the stress responses of fight, flight, or freeze. They remind the nervous system that safety is possible, encouraging relaxation and openness.
Reflect:
Now that you’ve explored the concepts of glimmers, glows, and resilience, consider these questions to deepen your learning and integrate the insights into your life:
What new glimmers can you notice in your daily life, and how can you amplify them to create glows?
How can you build a "glimmer toolkit" that reflects your unique needs as a neurodivergent individual?
How might you share glimmers or co-regulate with loved ones to build a collective sense of safety and resilience?
Glimmers and glows remind us that resilience doesn’t have to be about grand transformations—it can be about noticing the small, beautiful things that tether us to the present moment. For neurodivergents, these moments are not just a pathway to calm; they are an act of reclamation, a way to honor one’s unique way of moving through the world.
So today, pause. Look around. Find a glimmer—a leaf dancing in the wind, a favorite scent wafting through the air—and let it soften you. These tiny moments of joy, when nurtured, can light the way toward a brighter, more resilient tomorrow.
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